The Most Horrible Week Ever.

Honestly at this moment in time I really wonder what people are ON when they say that everything happens for a reason.. and that bad things happen all at once but you'll be blessed because of them.

I really don't feel like that's the case, and if it is can the good stuff PLEASE start happening now? I feel like if one more bad thing happens I will just collapse and be done. I know that sounds weak but really I can't stand feeling like this. I'm worried about Adam and I'm scared for both of us, I honestly have no idea what's going to happen. I am having such a hard time with this, and as much as it's hurting me I know that it's hurting him so much more. I can't imagine what he is feeling right now.

I miss him so much that it hurts, I can't even sleep at night. This isn't supposed to happen so early.. but maybe since it did, we won't have this problem ever again. I just.. I can't stand waiting for him to be home. I wish they would just hurry up so I could have him back. I need my husband.. I love him so much it kills me to be away from him this way...I thought Vernal was bad but maaan, this sucks so much more. I want to hear his voice for more than freaking 5 minutes a day.

It worries me because when it was all happening he told me that this was why he has a hard time going to church.. because God does that kind of thing.. It broke my heart to hear him say that.. and I know that every second that he is in there, his faith is fading. I need him to be out, I need him to be with me. I can't let this take him away from me for eternity. Because I know that if he is not with me, I couldn't let myself want eternity alone.

I am praying to God please please PLEEAASE let him come home. Please......